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Entries for the 'Faking Authenticity' Category

Listen In -> Faking Authenticity #5: When Wanting Others to Respond

Tuesday, December 30th, 2008

Do you ask for it? Do you command it? Do you trick people into it?

More than any other, there is nothing like needing others to up their game at work to tempt leaders into faking authenticity.

Is it that others’ responses are ultimately out of our control that we act so desperately and foolishly to exert control?

Join Claudia and I in this week’s discussion on this tendency to apply complex leadership principles related to influencing others as if they were band-aids or simple step-by-step instructions.

Listen in.

Listen In -> Faking Authenticity #4: When Wanting to Perform

Thursday, December 18th, 2008

Are you pretending to be competent?

Where do you think you got the impression that you needed to appear to be more than you are in order to be effective?

Could you be making assumptions about leadership, competence, respect and authority that may not be grounded in reality?

In this week’s show, Claudia and I discuss the temptation to fake authenticity in situations that require us to peform beyond our current skill or experience level.

You won’t believe how much happier, energetic and effective you will be when you stop trying to be someone you aren’t.

Listen in.

Listen In -> Faking Authenticity #3: When Wanting to Confront

Wednesday, December 10th, 2008

I don’t know anyone who loves confrontation. Do you?

Work life, though, is filled with situations where something or someone needs to be confronted.

Confrontation is one of the most common situations where we feel we need to be someone we’re not.

We put on a “fake nice” to head off a negative response, or we cop a “fake stern” to show we mean business.

Could it be we don’t trust how we’ll show up in a complicated situation if we are simply ourselves?

In this week’s show, Claudia and I look at faking authenticity in situations of confrontation.

Listen in.

Listen In -> Faking Authenticity #2: When Wanting to Impress

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008

There is no virtue in hiding one’s talent. Impressing people at work is a legitimate and necessary exercise in self-disclosure.

There is a difference, though, between authentic self-disclosure that’s grounded in reality and flows from a place of personal security on the one hand, and what we are calling “faking it” in order to get the perception you want on the other.

Join Claudia and I in this week’s podcast discussion on staying authentic when we want to impress.

I’ll think you’ll come out pleasantly impressed with yourself!

Listen in.

Are You a Cheap Prostitute at Work?

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008

It’s one thing to interact authentically. It’s another to feel that you have to prove your genuineness. (We have just started a new podcast series discussing “Faking Authenticity.”)

This awkward feeling often rears its head when someone makes an unprovoked accusation about your “true” intentions or hints at possibly “mixed” motives. “Are you trying to undermine my authority?” “Look who’s going home early.” “You’re not doing anything, are you?”

In response we rush to do something that will prove that the accusation has no merit.

I suggest that this unsolicited extra effort on our part is the act of a cheap prostitute.

A public confession of sorts that your value is open to negotiation and requires continual substantiation. “If I just show a little more flesh, they’ll choose me.”

Accusations about the inner workings of your heart and mind are forms of baiting the “prostitute” in you. The part of you that might believe that the accusations could have merit and need to be disproved. The result is your own voluntary offering of “flesh.” Like the prostitute, no one is forcing you to do anything. You actually take it upon yourself to give away what is yours. You give away your power on the cheap by legitimating their original suggestion with your unsolicited “proof.”

Are you sabotaging your own efforts by giving yourself away for cheap? Are you kept off balance by the felt need to make “flesh” offerings to those who don’t deserve them? When you work extra hard, do you end up feeling more valuable or less?

If you’ve been feeling cheap, we need to talk. There are alternatives to the desperate tactics of the cheap prostitute.

Listen In -> Faking Authenticity #1: Trying to Buy Credibility Cheap

Wednesday, November 26th, 2008

Authenticity is the new credibility.

More than competence. Much more than credentials. Exponentially more than position on the organizational chart.

Those who are real. Those who shoot straight. Those whose words and actions are consistent with each other. These are the people who wield influence. These are the people who can make things happen. These are the people who earn the trust of subordinates, peers, vendors and clients alike.

Join us for our new podcast series on Faking Authenticity. Sure enough, as soon as research demonstrates the effectiveness of any new leadership technique, onto the playing field spill all those leaders who want the results without taking seriously the means.

Even though everyone around these pretenders can recognize intuitively and instantly that they are faking it, there is a group of us who are convinced we can pull one over on everyone and “technique” our way into results.

Chat with us as we laugh and cry together about the benefits and pitfalls of authenticity both when genuine and when faked.

Faking Authenticity

Week #1: Trying to Buy Credibility Cheap

Week #2: When Wanting to Impress

Week #3: When Wanting to Confront

Week #4: When Wanting to Perform

Week #5: When Wanting Others to Respond

Listen In.