We are often our own biggest barrier to getting off to a good start each week.

I am not referring to our foibles, mistakes, flaws, errors, shortcomings, or crimes.

I am referring to our unwillingness to forgive ourselves for those foibles, mistakes, flaws, errors, shortcomings, and crimes.

Sure, mistakes are costly. No doubt about it.

But mistakes can be corrected and serve as a learning opportunity. In other words, there is a future worth pursuing on the other side of most problems we cause.

If we beat up on ourselves for being less than perfect, feel we need to punish ourselves, or—worst of all—attribute negative or derogatory judgments about our characters, then we make it almost impossible to move forward, get going again, or jump back into the game with energy, determination and poise.

The key is to notice whether we focus on the error and its solution, or we focus on ourselves and our deficiencies.

In one case we participate powerfully in the creation of a constructive learning opportunity out of which we can adjust, experiment, and grow. In the other case we spin helplessly in a self-imposed quagmire of self-condemnation, perpetual second-guessing, and plummeting self-esteem.

If you have messed up recently, even if in a big way, the way forward will not be found in beating up on yourself.

The way forward lies in forgiving yourself. Only then will you be free enough inside to shift your focus constructively to the learning, adjusting and changes that will result in a new way forward.

On your side.

- Karl Edwards

Loving Monday is a weekly column designed to encourage us to step into our weeks with an intention to show up authentically, engage fully, and choose to make it a good week for ourselves. Explore past columns here.

Have  you ever thought that you should be more than you are? More experienced, more skilled, more relational, more organized, etc.?

Our hiring practices can lead us to believe that there are ideal people out there somewhere. And we mistakenly conclude that we are not one of them.

We compare diverse, complex individuals against our idealized preferences as laid out in a depersonalized list of job responsibilities, qualifications, and characteristics.

(We’ll leave the disasters and complications that such a process creates for the hiring process for another article.)

For today, though, I want to look at how we inadvertently buy into and compare ourselves with these idealized myths of the omni-competent professional.

Well of course we always come up short against such an unfair and unrealistic comparison.

Many of us react by thinking we should be other than we are… more than we are. We think we are lacking in some regard, deficient, or inadequate.

The result of such thinking is disastrous.

Once we believe that we are not enough or wish that we were more than we are, we begin behaving accordingly. We sabotage our own well-earned giftedness, (more…)

An idea cannot be perfected without taking the first practical step.

Sure it would be nice to work out all the kinks ahead of time.

Sure it would be nice to commit to the project without risk.

Real is the danger, though, of never taking the first step at all. Very possible, we discover, is missing out on an opportunity because of postponing the first step too long.

Ideas can only float around in the idea-sphere so long.

A good idea is only as good as it leaves the idea-sphere, takes concrete form, and becomes a reality.

The problem with reality is that it is messy, problematic, and complicated. It feels like our pristine idea becomes diminished, polluted, or compromised as it takes practical form.

And so we keep working on it. Keeping it in the idea-sphere where we can work through all the messy, problematic complications until it is perfect. Until it is as pristine and beautiful in reality as it is in our dream.

We may keep working on it… forever.

As you begin this week, take one practical, concrete step toward the implementation of one of your ideas.

One step, however messy, problematic or complicated.

One step.

On your side,

- Karl Edwards

Loving Monday is a weekly column designed to encourage us to step into our weeks with an intention to show up authentically, engage fully, and choose to make it a good week for ourselves. Explore past columns here.

If you can’t trust yourself, who can you trust?

For many things like confidentiality, favorite foods, and things to fear, most of us have no problem trusting ourselves above all other voices.

But for other things, like working style, decision-making, creativity, and work quality, too many of us seem to believe that there exist standards, criteria and models of excellence to which we must aspire—and until we attain—we must in the mean time defer to those who do.

The main problem is that these ones who do… do not exist either.

In other words, we are comparing ourselves to standards and models who do not exist.

Worse than that, the people, bosses, gurus, etc. who are judging us as inadequate, are faking it themselves.

Faking it, though, is too strong a word. Some are faking it, to be sure. Others are simply going about their business being themselves. They are not pretending to be doing anything “right” or “best” or “successfully”. They are showing up, diving in, and leaving all that self-consciousness at the door.

So when I title this article “Trusting Yourself”, I am not talking about putting on bravado, arrogance, elitism, or making decisions in a vacuum in order to demonstrate your competence.

I am talking about an unforced and unrehearsed comfort in one’s skills, training, character and judgment. A calm confidence that who I am is enough.

Comfortable with all that I do and do not bring to the table, I offer my opinions boldly, I listen attentively, I participate actively, I interact respectfully.

My goal is to increasingly trust myself to be fully me. Do you trust yourself?

Or are you haunted by the myths, standards, and messages of success, effectiveness and capabilities suggested by others?

On your side,

- Karl Edwards

If you would like to discuss your situation in more detail, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

Loving Monday is a weekly column designed to encourage us to step into our weeks with an intention to show up authentically, engage fully, and choose to make it a good week for ourselves. Explore past columns here.

Office politics sucks.

One would think reasonably mature adults could work through most problems, misunderstandings, and challenges.

But we are not all as mature as we’d like to think we are.

We see very clearly where others lack maturity, but are less clear-sighted about our own shortcomings.

We have lots of ideas how everyone else needs to change, but seldom see any need to explore viable alternatives for ourselves.

Our only point of control, though, lies with what we can change about ourselves. We cannot change other people.

We can accuse them. We can report them. We can instruct them. We can pray for them.

But we cannot change them.

If we are going to experience change, it will have to begin with us.

The choice is ours… To continue embattled, to become embittered, or to take a good hard look at “how we might be a part of the problem that won’t go away.”

What will you choose?

Call me if you’d like to discuss the details of your particular situation.

Loving Monday is a weekly column designed to encourage us to step into our weeks with an intention to show up authentically, engage fully, and choose to make it a good week for ourselves. Explore past columns here.

Today is the first working Monday of the new year. All the schools are back in session. The morning commute here in Los Angeles is packed again. The neighbors are all back from their holiday family trips.

Happy New Year! Or is it?

For many this is a tough year to celebrate the ringing in of a new year.

The economy is still limping along. Unemployment is still a painful reality, either for themselves or someone they know personally.

Job security feels fragile when one can be so easily replaced.

Bosses are afraid of making mistakes, which is resulting in a depressing risk-averse conservatism in decision-making.

The advent of a new calendar year does present an opportunity, though.

Even if the optimism isn’t built in this year, we can choose to use the calendar to our advantage. Even if (especially if?) our spirits and energies are low, we can use the tool of the new year to choose an attitude shift within ourselves.

Even if circumstances are difficult and the outlook is bleak, we can choose to face and confront this reality rather than complain about it or wish it were otherwise. 

Yes, for many people it would be dishonest to exult “Happy New Year!” That things are difficult doesn’t mean, though, that it has to be a bad year.

So choose yourself a “Meaningful New Year!”. Give yourself a “Proactive New Year!”

There is no power in the world that can stop you from choosing to have an empowered, responsible, determined, creative, persevering, generous, and life-enhancing new year.

To those for whom this is a particularly difficult season, I pray we find our way together to making it a deeply worthwhile season.

On your side,

- Karl Edwards

Loving Monday is a weekly column designed to encourage us to step into our weeks with an intention to show up authentically, engage fully, and choose to make it a good week for ourselves. Explore past columns here.

Some days it rains.

Born and raised in Southern California, I am not a natural fan of the rain. While I understand its nourishing, generative, and cleansing attributes, I generally consider it an intruder, a nuisance and an unfortunate complication.

Some days, though, it rains.

There is no escaping it. There is no wishing it were otherwise. There is no pretending it has no impact.

What do you do when it rains?

Stay inside and suspend your plans? Bundle up and trudge on through?

I am learning a third way… to welcome the rain.

While certainly not my preference, rain is occasionally my reality. I can face my reality and make the most of it, or I can bemoan my reality and painfully endure it.

I can choose to transform the situation into an opportunity, or I can choose to blame the situation for holding me back and ruining my plans. The choice is mine.

How will you respond if it’s raining when you arrive at work? The choice is yours.

Some days it rains.

Loving Monday is a weekly column designed to encourage us to step into our weeks with an intention to show up authentically, engage fully, and choose to make it a good week for ourselves. Explore past columns here.

So many goals for the week.

So many voices shouting for attention.

The distractions and demands can confuse us, alter our priorities, or even overwhelm us.

That’s when I find it helpful to commit simply to getting one thing done.

One thing that will take precedence over everything else.

With a single goal settled for the day, other important tasks and issues can be scheduled in light of it.

Instead of losing your most important priority in the mix of the many important things, it becomes the stable anchor around which everything else can be organized.

Daily Focus Pad

Have you seen our Daily Focus Pad?

Three simple questions with which to begin each day.

• If I accomplish one thing today, that one thing must be…
• What one complicating reality can I anticipate and head off?
• What one element can I include in my day that will keep me energized?

Get a copy for yourself. Or purchase a discounted set for the team. (Click here.)

Before anything else…

Before you do anything else, pause and decide what one thing you will commit to accomplish today?

Give yourself the gift of focus and accomplishment today.

On your side,

- Karl Edwards

Loving Monday is a weekly column designed to encourage us to step into our weeks with an intention to show up authentically, engage fully, and choose to make it a good week for ourselves. Explore past columns here.

Go for it!

My, that was easy to say.

Some words are easier to say than to do.

Go for it! is an enthusiastic, high confidence encouragement to dive in without hesitation or reservation.

Commit. Invest. Push. Give it everything you’ve got. Operate with abandon, joy, zeal.

As I said, easy to say. Not always easy to do.

There are times when we’re weary. There are obstacles we encounter along the way. Not everyone is encouraging in either their words or deeds.

As much as we may desire to “Go for it!” our reality is sometimes dimmer, slimmer or grimmer. (No corny rhyming intended, though I must admit I’m smiling.)

Sometimes we need someone to shout “Go for it!” as a reminder, as an exhortation to action, or as a walk-up call.

Sometimes we need to tell ourselves to “Go for it!” so that we don’t miss out, settle for less, or get into a rut.

Sometimes the easy words are needed as a catalyst to the more difficult action.

So to you I say, “Go for it!”

You are a gift… even if you are currently weary.

You have a contribution to make… even if you’re having trouble seeing your way forward.

The complexities of today are a part of your life as much as any of the idealized futures you are building for yourself.

So, “Go for it!”

On your side,

- Karl Edwards

Loving Monday is a weekly column designed to encourage us to step into our weeks with an intention to show up authentically, engage fully, and choose to make it a good week for ourselves. Explore past columns here.

It’s okay to surrender. Really.

Not all battles are adversarial conflicts in which there is a winner and a loser.

Could it be possible that on some occasions the smartest course of action might be to surrender?

That to win in in the big picture would mean to admit that you’ve lost in the current scene?

How on earth can admitting defeat be a victory?

When you need help.

When you’ve got too much to do or need skill sets that you yourself don’t have, it’s smarter to surrender.

It’s a victory to recognize your limits. The sooner you get a handle on what you can and cannot contribute, the sooner you can surround yourself with the people, skills and resources necessary to get the job done and done well.

The defeat comes in pushing yourself until you burn out, make a costly mistake, (more…)