Karl Edwards presents Working Matters

Category: Audio Downloads

  • Listen In -> Lies and Myths We Believe About Work #4: Hard Work Will Be Rewarded

    Hard work is not always noticed much less rewarded. If we are quietly going about our hard work thinking that our supervisors both are aware of it and ready to reward it appropriately, we are mistaken.

    In this week’s show, Claudia and I discuss the myth that hard work will be rewarded.

    This myth is most commonly believed by the most cooperative and hard-working among us. We don’t want to make waves, draw attention to ourselves or be accused of unfair politicking.

    We feel the noble route is to demonstrate exceptional performance and then let the rewards flow from the system functioning as it was intended. Our performance reviews will—of course—result in appropriate compensation increases and position advancement.

    But systems don’t work as they are designed, and however noble and cooperative such an approach may be, it will ultimately backfire on us. Is your hard work noticed? Appropriately rewarded?

    Listen in.

    Just now joining the conversation? Catch up on the entire series here.

  • Listen In -> Lies and Myths We Believe About Work #3: You Have to Prove Yourself First

    This week’s lie would have us believe that we should prove our ability even though no opportunity has been afforded us to do so.

    How’s that for being caught between a rock and a hard place?!

    They’ll consider us for a supervisor role once we’ve proved that we can supervise. We can manage the budget once we can show a budget we’ve successfully managed.

    Join Claudia and I as we look into yet another career-wasting trap: “You have to prove yourself first.”

    Earning someone’s trust or building someone else’s confidence in your capabilities can be a no-win predicament. While you can work hard, learn quickly, and offer excellence, you can never control what makes another person willing to trust.

    Some people simply do not trust easily. Some people never trust anyone other than themselves. If you have one of these people as your boss, you could be spinning your wheels trying to prove yourself.

    They benefit from the extra efforts you invest, while you continue to wonder how high you need to jump.

    Stop wondering and join the conversation here on Working Matters.

    Listen in.

    Just now joining the conversation? Catch up on the entire series here.

  • Listen In -> Lies and Myths We Believe About Work #2: You Don’t Have What It Takes

    Are you giving away your best professional years trying to meet a standard that doesn’t exist?

    One of the both cruelest and emptiest barbs insecure people in power like to ambush people they do not understand with is, “You don’t have what it takes.”

    In this week’s podcast discussion, Claudia look at this unhelpful, diminishing, spirit-crushing accusation.

    What’s most interesting about this vague accusation is that it has no criteria by which we can demonstrate otherwise. There is no way to measure up. There is no “what it takes” being discussed.

    Whatever it is, though, you don’t seem to have it. This would be laughable if it were so hurtful.

    Do you find yourself giving vague accusations such as this one more power over you than they deserve?

    Listen in.

    Just now joining the conversation? Catch up on the entire series here.

  • Listen In -> Lies and Myths We Believe About Work #1: How We Cooperate In Our Own Diminishment

    More frustrating than almost any other professional obstacle are the obstacles we create for ourselves. This week Claudia and I begin a new podcast discussion series looking at several common “truths” of working life and discuss how they are, in fact, LIES.

    Not only are they lies, but we end up sabotaging our own professional well-being by acting as if they were true.

    I wrote about these lies in a recent Loving Monday column. (Read “Empowered by Identifying the Lies” here.) So insidious and persistent is the extent to which we have bought into these lies that we thought it warranted a full discussion series.

    What is most troubling about these lies is that we participate in our own diminishment by believing them. We have no one to blame but ourselves.

    We obey an entire set of unspoken rules without anyone asking us to, without any job description delineating them, and without any policy demanding that we do.

    Lies and Myths We Believe About Work

    Week #1: How We Cooperate In Our Own Diminishment
    Week #2: You Don’t Have What It Takes
    Week #3: You Have to Prove Yourself First
    Week #4: Hard Work Will Be Rewarded
    Week #5: Making Waves is Making Trouble

    Which of these lies do you find most persuasive? Join the conversation.

    Listen in.

  • Loving Monday: Empowered By Identifying The Lies

    loving_mondayWe all believe certain lies. Even lies we know to be lies. Even lies that undermine our well-being. We believe them in spite of ourselves.

    Don’t ask me why. It would probably take years of therapy to uncover why we might internalize as true something so blatantly false.

    One set of lies has to do with the negative names we call ourselves. “I’m a loser.” “I don’t have what it takes.” These non-specific, unverifiable conclusions we draw about ourselves hover as accusing judgments, sabotaging our ability to see much less consider options in which we may thrive.

    Another set of lies has to do with imaginary rules that then become obstacles to us. “You have to earn your stripes first.” “That’s now how it works.” “Who do you think you are?” Before you even begin a conversation, act on an idea, or move toward a dream, you talk yourself out of it because you somehow are not qualified or are not approaching it “correctly” and therefore doomed.

    Whether or not you choose to explore with your therapist why you believe these lies, I want to suggest that you’ve achieved a major feat of self-empowerment merely by identifying them.

    Merely by calling them out for what they are—lies—we disarm much of their power over us.

    For example, it will serve me better to identify that I am afraid of being criticized for my decisions than to bluster and pretend to be more confident that I am. In the first case, I can go ahead and make the best decision possible. In the second case, I end up making lousy decisions because all my attention is diverted to appearing more confident than I am.

    Calling out a lie might go something like this, “That’s a lie! I don’t know why I act as if it were true, but doing so is keeping me from doing what I feel is best. I’m going to take a step toward what I want anyway.”

    Oversimplified to be sure, but what’s the point here? Instead of unconsciously behaving as if the lie were a truth and pretending to know better (an energy consuming process of self-deception), we choose to consciously call out the lie and our mysterious buy-in to it (an energy freeing process of honest self-awareness) so that our behavior can be a deliberate, intentional, and personal choice. Now that’s empowerment!

    What lies do you find yourself believing in spite of yourself? Experiment with identifying those lies and calling them out. I believe you will discover you have a bit more internal space to make better decisions, make more timely decisions, and make more satisfying decisions.

    On your side,

    – Karl Edwards

    Loving Monday is a weekly column designed to encourage us to step into our weeks with an intention to show up authentically, engage fully, and choose to make it a good week for ourselves. Explore past columns here.

  • Listen In -> Confrontation for Those Who Don’t Like Confrontation #5: Clearing Up Misunderstandings

    There’s a story of an elderly couple who were sitting outside on their front porch listening to the sounds of the countryside one evening.

    The gentleman was listening to the crickets in the field behind the house. The woman was listening to the choir in the church down the lane.

    At one point the woman exclaimed to her husband, “Isn’t that beautiful?!”

    “Ah yes,” he replied. “And I understand they do it by rubbing their legs together.”

    Misunderstandings happen.

    In this week’s show, Claudia and I discuss the common reality of miscommunicating, misinterpreting, and other ways we get our wires crossed.

    How often do we find ourselves getting all worked up over some perceived slight only to find out later that the other person was merely distracted by something completely unrelated?

    How often do we find ourselves jumping to conclusions about a slipping project schedule only to discover that we didn’t know the parties involved had agreed to rearrange the order of events and everything was right on track?

    Misunderstandings happen. The question is, are we alert enough and responsive enough to confront them (i.e. talk calmly about) early on before they have a chance to spiral out of control?

    Listen in.

    Just now joining the conversation? Catch up on the entire series here.

  • Listen In -> Confrontation for Those Who Don’t Like Confrontation #4: Not Pulling One’s Weight

    It happens all the time. People go on vacation, get sick, have personal emergencies, and experience the occasional “bad day.”

    We are not always able “pull our weight,” so to speak.

    When life happens and someone on the team cannot pull their weight we are usually more than willing to pitch in and fill the gap. And that’s a good thing.

    BUT…

    And it’s a big but!

    When someone consistently and chronically does not do their job, our willingness to fill the gap should drop like a lead balloon.

    We are not helping anymore when we participate with an under-performer in preventing there being any consequences to their inadequate contribution. Our filling the gap that was a good thing for the team on an occasional basis becomes a bad thing when it becomes a pattern.

    They are simply not doing the job they agreed to do. And we are no longer giving our all to the job we agreed to do.

    In this week’s show, Claudia and I discuss how to talk calmly about (i.e. confront) someone not pulling their weight.

    Listen in.

    Just now joining the conversation? Catch up on the entire series here.

  • Listen In -> Confrontation for Those Who Don’t Like Confrontation #3: Unacceptable Work

    Let’s face it, even on the best of teams there are times when someone’s work is unacceptable.

    It’s going to happen. It’s a workplace reality. All the training in the world cannot eliminate these instances of below-standard quality, timeliness, accuracy, thoroughness or judgment.

    In this week’s conversation, Claudia and I discuss how to talk calmly about (i.e. confront) unacceptable work.

    We don’t have to act like parents scolding a wayward child. We don’t have to act like betrayed slavemasters punishing those beneath us. We don’t have to act like apologetic nursemaids afraid to create a new problem where we are trying to fix a current one.

    When the normal and the ordinary happen, like unacceptable work, then a straightforward and work-focused conversation needs to take place.

    Listen in.

    Just now joining the conversation? Catch up on the entire series here.

  • Listen In -> Confrontation for Those Who Don’t Like Confrontation #2: Inappropriate Behavior

    Awkward.

    Offensive.

    Destructive.

    Some people seem to live as if they’re the only ones on the planet.

    They are oblivious or insensitive to how their behavior affects others.

    How then do we communicate that their actions or words hurt, offend or harm us?

    Suffice to say that waiting until you blow up in an explosion of rage is not very effective.

    What is appropriate when confronting the inappropriate?

    This week Claudia discuss confronting inappropriate behavior in the workplace.

    Listen in.

    Just now joining the conversation? Catch up on the entire series here.

  • Listen In -> Confrontation for Those Who Don’t Like Confrontation #1: Making Confrontation Normal

    Granted confrontation will probably never be anyone’s favorite task.

    What, though, if confrontation were a mere ordinary, matter-of-fact, and mundane task? Just another workplace reality whenever diverse people and complex systems overlap. Ho hum.

    Could fear and anger be making confrontation more difficult and dangerous than it really need be?

    Join Claudia and I as we begin a new discussion series entitled, Confrontation for Those Who Don’t Like Confrontation.

    Maybe we simply need to change our vocabulary. Instead of “confrontation” we could call it, “talking about difficult issues,” “informing others of your boundaries,” or “clearing up misunderstandings.”

    Problems are to be expected in the workplace. Confrontation should be a normal and dispassionate form of communication that takes place more often than not. Confrontation should be a helpful and constructive activity not a scary or dangerous one. Confrontation should help us work through our problems earlier and more effectively rather than letting them fester and compound.

    Confrontation for Those Who Don’t Like Confrontation
    Week #1: Making Confrontation Normal
    Week #2: Confronting Inappropriate Behavior
    Week #3: Confronting Unacceptable Work
    Week #4: Confronting Not Pulling One’s Weight
    Week #5: Confronting Misunderstandings

    How do you feel about confrontation?

    Listen in.