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Listen In -> Avoiding Success. Four Fears That Hold Us Back #5: Fear of Not Being Liked

Wednesday, August 18th, 2010

More painful for the new leader than probably anything else is being unpopular.

Accepting a promotion would involve choosing to put myself in this awkward place vis-a-vis my team where my decisions might evoke negative reactions.

The promotion is attractive because I anticipate being successful, making good decisions, and being enthusiastically appreciated for doing so.

And yet, deep within, we know reality is not so simple. Reality is that we cannot please everyone.

A wise question to ask oneself is how will one respond to the negative reactions, both those with substance and those without.

More germane to this week’s discussion, though, is asking whether you are avoiding the responsibility of leadership in order to avoid the unpopularity that often goes along with it?

Listen in.

Just now joining the conversation? Catch up on the entire series here.

Listen In -> Avoiding Success. Four Fears That Hold Us Back #4: Fear of Harm

Wednesday, August 11th, 2010

“They’re looking for a fall guy. I’m going to be given the responsibility of turning around the division without the necessary resources and support and then blamed for not fixing what they prefer would stay broken.”

The third ordinary fear that we try to mask when avoiding success is the fear that we are being used or taken advantage of.

Exploitation is a management reality. It happens. We use our executives. We take the credit when they perform and point the finger when they fail. I’m not excusing the practice. But it takes place. To deny it is both foolish and dangerous.

We can choose to step into that reality and treat it as one of many challenges to be faced, or we can avoid that reality and protect ourselves from being harmed.

The problem with going through our careers protecting ourselves from harm, is that we also protect ourselves from opportunities. In this week’s show, Claudia and I look at how fear of being harmed becomes an excuse for some to avoid new professional challenges. What about for you?

Listen in.

Just now joining the conversation? Catch up on the entire series here.

Listen In -> Avoiding Success. Four Fears That Hold Us Back #3: Fear of Blame

Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010

Politics is a management reality that will give us as much challenge as it does headaches.

Learning to face reality is a different process than becoming adept at avoiding it. The reality of office politics too often degrades into a no-win blame game. When something goes awry it seems the leaders focus first on whom to blame and then on what happened or what needs to happen next.

Again, it is normal to experience some fear when such craziness affects your job. We are not interested in helping you not feel something which is perfectly normal to feel when the powerful act like children.

What Claudia and I discuss in this week’s show is how we actually step away from our own leadership opportunities in order to avoid experiencing this ordinary fear.

Don’t let the fear of being unfairly blamed hold you back from the very opportunity you’ve been waiting and working for!

Listen in.

Just now joining the conversation? Catch up on the entire series here.

Listen In -> Avoiding Success. Four Fears That Hold Us Back #2: Fear of Failure

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

Even if the promotion is long overdue. No matter how qualified we believed we were before receiving the promotion, after we get the promotion the first ordinary fear that we have trouble owning is the possibility that we may not be able to perform.

I identify the fear as “ordinary” precisely because it is so difficult to name in our culture of pseudo-alpha confidence. We feel we shouldn’t experience fear of failure if we’re ready for the professional challenge of advancement.

The problem is not experiencing the fear of failure. The real problem is not being able to be honest with oneself about the fact that one is, in fact, feeling fear.

As a result we sabotage our own success by putting on a false bravado and confidence. We use this superior knowledge of ours to talk ourselves out of accepting the promotion for other reasons. Not enough pay. Not enough budget. A booby trap. A bad boss.

In this week’s show, Claudia and I look at this ordinary fear and find that we destroy its power by acknowledging its presence. Instead of making up excuses for refusing a challenging promotion, you can step into the challenge and succeed even if a bit nervous.

Listen in.

Just now joining the conversation? Catch up on the entire series here.

Listen In -> Avoiding Success. Four Fears that Hold Us Back #1: The Excuses We Didn’t Expect

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

We’ve been wanting a promotion for some time now. We feel ready. We know we could do better than our boss.

But when the time comes, and the promotion is offered, we decline the opportunity. We wisely discern it is too much work given the pay, not enough budget given the responsibilities, and a trap to avoid.

What’s going on here?

Are we really declining the very opportunity we’ve been working and waiting for?

Join Claudia and I as we discuss four fears that can undermine our career ambitions.

Perfectly normal human fears that might get triggered in perfectly normal management situations can work against us unless we arm ourselves ahead of time.

Don’t inadvertently decline the opportunity that you are perfectly ready to take on!

Avoiding Success. Four Fears That Hold Us Back
The Fear of Failure
The Fear of Blame
The Fear of Harm
The Fear of Not Being Liked

Listen in.