What feelings does this picture stir?
Reflect for a moment before reading on.
Words matter.
Even words to ourselves.
Especially words to ourselves.
We tend to underestimate the power of words. We casually throw out phrases like, “I’m a klutz” or “I’m bad with names” or “I’m just an average Joe or a plain Jane.” We aren’t totally serious in one sense, but in another we are expressing some inner dis-ease we are feeling.
Before going into how such talk might not be serving us well, I want to affirm that the feelings, experiences, and beliefs about ourselves that underlie much of our negative self-talk are very real. I do not want to minimize or invalidate the reality of those feelings, experiences or beliefs in the least.
We do ourselves two disservices, though, when we are not gracious with our self-talk. We buy into a lie, and we let ourselves off the hook.
First, we buy into a lie—a false frame of reference that is (more…)