“The fact is that the possession of a highly social conscience about large-scale issues is no guarantee whatever of reasonable conduct in private relations.”
Lewis Hastings
Category: Working Matters
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Quote to Consider: Caring in Principle Only
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Karl Shares Six Words… 6
Wisdom gasps underneath the heavy memo.
Karl Edwards
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Life is a Casserole… Still a Feast, Just Not Very Pretty
I begin with an apology to those for whom work and life come easy. To those for whose priorities sort themselves out before any difficult choice needs to be made, this article may seem so much wasted breath.We tend to think about the various contexts of life separately. Work, family, friends, politics, sports, religion, hobbies, etc.
We then proceed to burden ourselves with the task of achieving a mythical ideal of “balance” between them all. As if there existed some ideal slicing of the pie, so to speak, by which we would be appropriately invested in each compartment in such a way that we were neither overwhelmed by any one of them.
Better than slices of pie, though, is the analogy of the seven-course meal. Each course in its time, each course serving its culinary purpose, each course designed to delight all of the senses. So we think about our various contexts of life. Each should have its time, accomplish its purpose, and result in its benefits.Reality, though, rarely (I’m dying to say “never”) works out so neatly. Reality is messy. Reality consists of the unexpected, the complex, much that is broken, and much that does not fit very well.
Instead of embracing the messiness of reality, we launch on our various heroic quests for the holy grail of “balance.”
Maybe the casserole would be a yet better analogy for life than the seven-course meal. All the same ingredients are present, but the presentation isn’t as beautiful and the components aren’t artificially kept separate.
The task of building a meaningful and rewarding life feels differently to me when my goal is to simply concoct the most delicious casserole I can. Instead of chasing some mythical ideal of the perfectly balanced seven-course meal, I am working with who I currently am and with what and whom I currently have in the pantry.
What have you got in the pantry? Instead of stressing about what’s not there, how about taking stock of what is there. Instead of viewing what is there through the eyes of the seven-course meal and how far short it falls of that ideal, view it through the eyes of the casserole and what delicious combinations can be created by you.
The gourmet sausage industry did not grow out of trying to figure out what to do with the best cuts of meat.
Work, family, friends, politics, sports, religion and hobbies don’t need to be artificially isolated from each other and set at odds with each other. We don’t need to argue about whether the main course should be work or family or religion.
If I can be ok with the harsh reality that casseroles will never look as beautiful, organized or balanced as a meal with courses, then I can relax and enjoy how delightfully yummy it is.
I have, in essence, traded the unattainable and mythical ideal of balance for the always available if messy reality of flavor.
Still a feast, just not very pretty.
On your side,
– Karl Edwards
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Loving Monday: Remembering The Truth About You
For too many people these days, Monday morning does not begin a new week at work. Monday begins a new week of looking for work.Having a bad job can wear one down, but having no job can wear one out.
The experience of repeated rejections is difficult not to make personal and internalize.
We lose confidence. We lose energy. We begin to think that we might be the problem and not the economy.It is in this situation that Monday becomes a weekly opportunity to pause and remind ourselves of the truth. The truth about ourselves, our skills, our capabilities and our character. The truth about the job market. 12% unemployment is unparalleled in our working lives. This is no ordinary cyclical recession that we can wait out.
The title of the column, “Loving Monday,” almost sounds like someone is mocking our pain. How can we love beginning another week of hustling ourselves to a working world that has curled up into a fetal position in the corner until some undisclosed future time when it feels safe to make commitments again?
The truth, though, is that you are a valuable professional. You bring a marvelous set of skills, perspectives, experiences, personality, attitude, and competencies.
Regardless of the economic reality by which so many businesses find themselves constrained, you have value. Enormous value.
This fact is the truth that needs to be reengaged each Monday morning as you launch another strenuous week of telephone calls, letters, emails, coffees, lunches, networking efforts, and interviews.
While always tiring, while sometimes discouraging, while occasionally depressing, our continued job hunting efforts nonetheless give credence to the larger truth. The truth that we have value.
If you need a more personal reminder of the deeper truth of your value, please don’t hesitate to contact me.
On your side,
– Karl Edwards
Loving Monday is a weekly column designed to encourage us to step into our weeks with an intention to show up authentically, engage fully, and choose to make it a good week for ourselves. Explore past columns here.
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Quote to Consider: Hit Me Again
“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive, but do not forget.”Thomas Szasz
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Karl Shares Six Words… 5
Strutted into the meeting empty-handed.
Karl Edwards
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Brains Turned Off -> Free Article From Harvard Business Review
I have long complained that much of American leadership has turned their brains off in servile deference (though more likely cowardly negligence) to supposedly objective data.“The numbers demand…” “We have no choice in light of the numbers.” So go the rationale (read excuses) for avoiding the stewardship of their power because of the illusory objectivity of raw data.
Amar Behidé of Tufts University in The Judgment Deficit argues that we have set aside what the economy really needs, i.e. “individual judgment and initiative” in favor of “statistical models and algorithms.”
I recommend you give this article a good hard read. While Bhidé writes specifically to the financial sector and its practices, the case for individual judgment is broadly applicable and immediately relevant. (Download here.)
We need you to show up at work today!
On your side,
– Karl Edwards
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Quote to Consider: The Power of Scapegoating
“Once upon a time my political opponents honored me as possessing the fabulous intellectual and economic power by which I created a worldwide depression all by myself.”Herbert Hoover
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Clippings from Don: Gratitude Work-Out
“Drop and give me 50 push-ups and 25 thank-you’s!”If you’re looking for a new exercise routine, try gratitude.
Melinda Beck offers a wonderful peek at research demonstrating the health benefits of expressing appreciation and gratitude in the Wall Street Journal. (Click here for the full article.)
From her article, “Philosophers as far back as the ancient Greeks and Romans cited gratitude as an indispensable human virtue, but social scientists are just beginning to study how it develops and the effects it can have.”
She even suggests seven ideas for incorporating thanks into your lifestyle if regular gratitude feels like a stretch.
In our culture we experience much moral reasoning as a negative, coercive force to be resisted. To hear that we “should” be grateful or we “ought to” count our blessings like the imposition of someone else’s values upon our own instead of the wise experience of those who have gone before.
So we ignore the ancients whenever their advice annoys us. Until, that is, science corroborates their “knowledge.”
And so it is now with gratitude. Thankfully (pun unavoidably appropriate) science demonstrates specific and concrete health benefits to being thankful.
Read the full article. Begin your gratitude work-out today.
Voracious reader friend Don Silver always has an eye out for what interests me. Clippings from Don is a column where I pass on some of these articles, stories and resources to you.
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Karl Shares Six Words… 4
Slipped on a coffee stained directive.
Karl Edwards