The circle. From the outside it looks impenetrable and exclusive. From the inside it feels open and inviting.

Those on the outside cannot figure out how to get in. Those on the inside wonder why they are keeping their distance?

Each feeling that the other isn’t taking action to close the gap and viewing themselves as already doing all they can.

In the workplace, “the circle” can be one of the biggest challenges to adding staff to the team. It’s one thing to give a new employee a desk, a phone and a job description. It’s quite another thing to incorporate them into the working community.

Even the most welcoming of departments will have their own language, their own jokes, their own unspoken rules, expectations and ways of going about their various jobs. These idiosyncrasies of this particular community can take quite a bit of time to pick up. In the mean time, one can feel a stranger in the midst of close friends.

The key to change is being able to get into each others’ shoes. To see and feel from the opposite perspective. Look out from their vantage point and understand their experience.

No matter how open you feel your work community is, if you were aware that a newcomer experiences the rhythms that you most treasure as barriers, you can take steps to intentionally draw them in and show them the ropes. And if you are new to the community and feeling excluded, being aware that their unspoken “rules” and code languages are the precious culture of work that these people have come to love and value can help you exchange the feelings of being left out for feelings of attraction to a new way of being community.

In the other person’s shoes, we see what is not evident from our own perspective. We may find that we all, in fact, want to work together and the circle need not be the barrier that it has been.

Are you on the inside or the outside of the circle? How might your perspective be reframed by taking the other person’s point of view?

On your side,

- Karl

Friend or foe?

Sometimes it’s not so easy to tell. When it comes to voices, some of the most damaging words we hear come from those closest to us. And it isn’t uncommon, on the other hand, for the harsh criticism of those opposed to us to be the most helpful of all.

Yes, it’s important to distinguish between friend and foe. The acceptance, loyalty, and faithfulness of friends is an irreplaceable foundation for survival, much less success.

Also important, though, is to be able to distinguish between voices. Even the well-intended input of those most committed to our well-being may be misplaced. Just as the substance underlying the input of our opponents cannot be dismissed or disregarded simply because they have ulterior motives.

How do you listen for the nuggets of substance hidden within the insecure and harsh attacks of those who do not understand how to wield power?

How do you hold your ground against the misplaced kindness of those who, while intending good for you, are in fact diminishing, second-guessing and/or undermining you?

It’s not as black-and-white as trusting the nice people and avoiding the mean people, is it?!

I thought I was alone.

I thought I was afraid.

I thought I would falter.

I thought I would fail.

Until I felt your hand.

Solid and sure. Tender and warm.

Courage and compassion

Kindled like memories

Of an ancient story.

And I knew.

I knew I could not falter and would not fail.

I will never be alone. I do not need to be afraid.

Thank you.

- Karl Edwards, Thanksgiving 2009

It’s over. We’re done. No more.

Labor Day 2009. The day leaders stopped yelling.

Yelling as a “tool” for leaders is one of the great excuses and abuses that persists in the workplace.

It’s an excuse, because yelling is a cover for one’s own inability to either control one’s temper or come up with effective communication alternatives. While occasionally necessary to communicate seriousness, dissatisfaction, and/or anger about work-related dynamics, it is positively never necessary to use yelling to do so.

It’s an abuse because yelling uses the cover of power to get away with a behavior that would not be tolerated from those with less power than you. Because the cover of power is yelling’s only outlet, it is a form of bullying and therefore cowardice.

It’s over.

I‘m putting yellers on notice. Your day is over. Get help or get out. Muster the courage to learn effective alternatives or make way for those who can.

We’re done.

I’m putting anyone who makes excuses for these verbally violent leaders on notice. These are not our great leaders, and those who lionize them as such must stop. You are intentionally ignoring the evidence. While publishing books that claim short term results, you ignore the long term costs and consequences of the high turnover, low morale, bare minimum work efforts, self-protective resistances, retaliatory subterfuges, and antagonistic cultures that spread like cancers throughout these organizations.

No more.

It’s a new day. It will be a day characterized by mutual respect, lofty aspirations, meaningful accountability, shared commitments, trust-based collaborations, and concrete results that outperform anything we’ve ever seen before.

What sort of leader will you be? Not one who yells, I trust.

As you know, one of my favorite questions for leaders is, “Does it matters who’s sitting in the chair?”

The question helps tease out how well a leader knows who is on the team and what each person brings to the table.

Most leaders look to their organizational charts and each specific job description to describe the make-up of their team. But such a view is only half the picture.

Less than half the picture actually.

How would you evaluate an employee who understood less than half of the issues related to their job? Who didn’t have an in depth knowledge of their firm’s assets?

Negligent? Incompetent? A failure?

Sadly, many leaders not only don’t know who is on their team, but boast of the fact. They call such intentional blindness “maintaining objectivity” and “staying focused on the bottom line.”

It is, in fact, negligence. The most astounding failure in modern business history.

These leaders are making decisions of huge significance without (more…)

Does anyone really play their weaker players when serious about winning the game?

It’s a nice sentiment. But if victory is at stake, rare (probably non-existent) is the coach who decides to extend an opportunity for challenge to anyone other than their best.

But how do your weaker players become stronger players when they get no game time?

Experience is a vital and irreplaceable form of training.

So do you risk the game on building a stronger future? Do you even have a future if you don’t build your weaker players?

But will you have a future if you don’t play to win now? What if the game ends early because you bet on the future and lost in the present?

I don’t know that there’s a definitive answer to these questions.

And that’s the point. The conundrum. The choice every leader faces. The risk every leader must take. Does take. Takes whether he or she knows it or not.

What are you doing to develop your weaker players? Is it worth it? How do you decide how much of the present game to risk on the future game?

How do you deal with this leader’s conundrum?

On your side,

- Karl

What feelings does this picture stir?

Reflect for a moment before reading on.

Words matter.

Even words to ourselves.

Especially words to ourselves.

We tend to underestimate the power of words. We casually throw out phrases like, “I’m a klutz” or “I’m bad with names” or “I’m just an average Joe or a plain Jane.” We aren’t totally serious in one sense, but in another we are expressing some inner dis-ease we are feeling.

Before going into how such talk might not be serving us well, I want to affirm that the feelings, experiences, and beliefs about ourselves that underlie much of our negative self-talk are very real. I do not want to minimize or invalidate the reality of those feelings, experiences or beliefs in the least.

We do ourselves two disservices, though, when we are not gracious with our self-talk. We buy into a lie, and we let ourselves off the hook.

First, we buy into a lie—a false frame of reference that is (more…)

The awkward irony of a non-denominational church is the assumption that we can be more affiliated with all other Christians by affiliating ourselves with no other Christians.

- Karl Edwards

Words are power.

Their impact often out of proportion with their intent.

Denigrating words wound long after their issuer has been identified as mean-spirited. Validating words generate exponentially more energy, creativity, loyalty and cooperation than ever went into voicing them.

Negative labels are word weapons used to diminish, marginalize, and rob others of their voice.

Calling out the positive attributes and contributions of others are investments which inspire confidence, build trust, and deepen credibility.

You are more powerful than you imagined.

To what end are you currently using the power of words?

Reflecting on the power of words, how might you go about using your words differently?

Happy New Year!

Let’s choose to make 2009 a very good year.

Let’s make an intentional decision about what will make 2009 “good” for us.

The new year is not something that is going to happen to us, but something we are going to make happen. While much is out of our control, there is much to choose, intend and purpose.

Are you “waiting to see” if 2009 will be better than 2008?

Join me in actively participating in the form that 2009 will take, both for your own sake and the sake of those you love.

Happy New Year!

- Karl Edwards