If only choosing one’s attitude were as simple as selecting from a restaurant menu.

“Let’s see… I think I’ll have an appetizer of peaceful contentedness, a main course of focused determination and for dessert, some joyful spontaneity.”

Yes, we choose our attitude. Theoretically, then, any attitude is available to choose any time.

But no, that choice does not take place in a vacuum. Theory goes out the window, and the choice to work with focused determination right after your boss humiliated you in front of your co-workers becomes almost impossible.

All the coaching or coaxing in the world couldn’t convince you that a constructive attitude is still on the menu. In fact, to suggest so feels insulting and insensitive.

What to do then with the choice we need to make next? The choice about going forward. How we go forward. The choice of attitude.

This is the problem with the menu analogy for accepting responsibility for one’s choices. It’s not as simple as choosing chicken instead of beef, or wine instead of beer.

As much as many leaders might prefer otherwise, human beings are not robots governed solely by their logical inputs. Human beings are multi-faceted, multi-layered, marvelously complex integrations of mind, body, emotions, context, histories, relationships, perspectives, and… yes… the will to choose.

Do you give yourself permission to be complex?

If I am complex, I can both be in pain and still make constructive choices. I don’t have to swing to either extreme of completely giving myself over to the pain and acting out of that deep offense, nor do I have to squash or overrule my feelings and soldier on as if nothing cruel had ever happened.

Choosing to move forward when hurting, when weary, when lonely, when frustrated, when overwhelmed, (you fill in the blank), is not as simple as flipping a switch or ordering from a menu. Neither is it impossible or out of reach.

You and I are complex. Choosing how to proceed forward is complex. Complex is not bad, it is just more involved than the either/or, black and white thinking that robots do. Sure there are choices to make, but they are by no means obvious, simple or automatic. But they are yours.

May your complex day of choices be a feast!

On your side,

– Karl Edwards

Loving Monday is a weekly column designed to encourage us to step into our weeks with an intention to show up authentically, engage fully, and choose to make it a good week for ourselves. Explore past columns here.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 7th, 2011 at 10:28 am and is filed under Loving Monday. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.