Karl Edwards presents Working Matters

Tag: reality

  • Loving Monday: Too Long in the Idea-Sphere?

    loving_mondayAn idea cannot be perfected without taking the first practical step.

    Sure it would be nice to work out all the kinks ahead of time.

    Sure it would be nice to commit to the project without risk.

    Real is the danger, though, of never taking the first step at all. Very possible, we discover, is missing out on an opportunity because of postponing the first step too long.

    Ideas can only float around in the idea-sphere so long.

    A good idea is only as good as it leaves the idea-sphere, takes concrete form, and becomes a reality.

    The problem with reality is that it is messy, problematic, and complicated. It feels like our pristine idea becomes diminished, polluted, or compromised as it takes practical form.

    And so we keep working on it. Keeping it in the idea-sphere where we can work through all the messy, problematic complications until it is perfect. Until it is as pristine and beautiful in reality as it is in our dream.

    We may keep working on it… forever.

    As you begin this week, take one practical, concrete step toward the implementation of one of your ideas.

    One step, however messy, problematic or complicated.

    One step.

    On your side,

    – Karl Edwards

    Loving Monday is a weekly column designed to encourage us to step into our weeks with an intention to show up authentically, engage fully, and choose to make it a good week for ourselves. Explore past columns here.

  • Listen In -> Awkward Communication #1: Learning to Embrace Messy Realities

    Communication is a messy business.

    Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying or trying to sell something.

    Yes, in a perfect world all communication would be clear, direct, concise, sensitive, and persuasive. But we do not live in a perfect world.

    Instead of wishing vainly that our communications were ideal (or at least our boss’s were), what if we approached communicating as a messier, more awkward dynamic?

    Claudia and I begin a new series this week entitled, “Awkward Communication”, where we explore several common communication styles.

    Maybe you’ll see glimpses of yourself in these dynamics. You’ll definitely see aspects of your boss and co-workers.

    More importantly, we hope you hear insights into why people slip into these ineffective practices and take away some alternatives that will serve you better.

    Awkward Communication
    Week #1: Learning to Embrace Messy Realities
    Week #2: The Time-Bomb
    Week #3: The Intimidator
    Week #4: The Nagger
    Week #5: The Diplomat

    Listen in.

  • Loving Monday: Tell Yourself the Truth

    loving_mondayToo many leaders are unable or unwilling to tell people the truth.

    It is sad but true.

    This inability to trust others with the truth covers myriad facets of work life. The truth about company finances, the truth about impending lay-offs, the truth about promotion prospects, the truth about changing deadlines, the truth about management planning… and the list goes on.

    Today I want to focus on the unfortunate reality that so many leaders cannot tell you the truth about you.

    FACT: Everyone has strengths, skills, talents and abilities. Therefore there is always something to affirm, empower and reward about everyone on the team.

    FACT: Everyone is imperfect, learning, makes mistakes, chokes, falters, and fails on occasion. Therefore there is always room for constructive confrontation.

    If leaders could tell people the truth about themselves, they would never be at a loss for extending compliments, expanding responsibilities or extending rewards. At the same time, in the ordinary course of events, leaders would be pointing out (more…)

  • Loving Monday: Facing Distasteful Realities

    loving_mondayTaxes are due today. Los Angeles City business taxes. While the procrastinator in me wants to postpone the unpleasant task until April 15th when the Federal and State personal income taxes are due, such is not the reality I face.

    In principle I can say that it is easier to face reality than to avoid it. I can also say that the earlier one can face any given reality, however distasteful, the better off one will be on a number of emotional and practical fronts.

    In practice, though…

    Let’s just say it’s easier to talk the talk than to walk the walk.

    Distasteful realities are just that… distasteful. We want to complain about the unfairness of it all, the wastefulness, the extra work, the boring work, or the awful people involved. We want the situation to be other than it is. (At least I do.)

    There is no other way to cut it. No way to make some tasks pleasant. No way to add sugar to the bitterness. No way to remove the sliver.

    The key, I have found, is in learning to receive and accept reality, however (more…)

  • Life is a Casserole… Still a Feast, Just Not Very Pretty

    I begin with an apology to those for whom work and life come easy. To those for whose priorities sort themselves out before any difficult choice needs to be made, this article may seem so much wasted breath.

    We tend to think about the various contexts of life separately. Work, family, friends, politics, sports, religion, hobbies, etc.

    We then proceed to burden ourselves with the task of achieving a mythical ideal of “balance” between them all. As if there existed some ideal slicing of the pie, so to speak, by which we would be appropriately invested in each compartment in such a way that we were neither overwhelmed by any one of them.

    Better than slices of pie, though, is the analogy of the seven-course meal. Each course in its time, each course serving its culinary purpose, each course designed to delight all of the senses. So we think about our various contexts of life. Each should have its time, accomplish its purpose, and result in its benefits.

    Reality, though, rarely (I’m dying to say “never”) works out so neatly. Reality is messy. Reality consists of the unexpected, the complex, much that is broken, and much that does not fit very well.

    Instead of embracing the messiness of reality, we launch on our various heroic quests for the holy grail of “balance.”

    Maybe the casserole would be a yet better analogy for life than the seven-course meal. All the same ingredients are present, but the presentation isn’t as beautiful and the components aren’t artificially kept separate.

    The task of building a meaningful and rewarding life feels differently to me when my goal is to simply concoct the most delicious casserole I can. Instead of chasing some mythical ideal of the perfectly balanced seven-course meal, I am working with who I currently am and with what and whom I currently have in the pantry.

    What have you got in the pantry? Instead of stressing about what’s not there, how about taking stock of what is there. Instead of viewing what is there through the eyes of the seven-course meal and how far short it falls of that ideal, view it through the eyes of the casserole and what delicious combinations can be created by you.

    The gourmet sausage industry did not grow out of trying to figure out what to do with the best cuts of meat.

    Work, family, friends, politics, sports, religion and hobbies don’t need to be artificially isolated from each other and set at odds with each other. We don’t need to argue about whether the main course should be work or family or religion.

    If I can be ok with the harsh reality that casseroles will never look as beautiful, organized or balanced as a meal with courses, then I can relax and enjoy how delightfully yummy it is.

    I have, in essence, traded the unattainable and mythical ideal of balance for the always available if messy reality of flavor.

    Still a feast, just not very pretty.

    On your side,

    – Karl Edwards

  • Quote to Consider: Reality’s Sharp Edges

    quote-to-consider“Nothing which is at all times and in every way agreeable to us can have objective reality. It is of the very nature of the real that it should have sharp corners and rough edges, that it should be resistant, should be itself. Dream-furniture is the only kind on which you never stub your toes or bang your knee.”

    C. S. Lewis

  • Thought Leaders Unpacked -> The Soul of a Leader #3: Daring to Dream

    thought-leaders“While many people think of reality as the enemy of dreaming, in fact, hard-headed reality must ground dreaming.” (p. 53)

    I‘ve long struggled with the tendency of dreamers to begin their process with tidy utopian ideals disconnected from the complex and messy realities of human frailty and inevitable systemic dysfunctions.

    The approach, (while the bread and butter of political campaigns,) is naive. Noble maybe some of the time… naive all of the time.

    The implementation of utopian ideals cannot help but be as messy and broken as the people and systems that embody them.

    While other thinkers have observed the importance of beginning the dream with a frank assessment of one’s presenting realities (e.g. Peter Senge, The Fifth Discipline), core to the Christian worldview is the possibility that such honesty need never be the end of the story. Problems are never a death sentence, fate, or doom. They are simply facts.

    As mere facts, they can be brought out into the light and examined. Turned over and over and looked at from a variety of angles. Underlying causes can be explored. Complicating circumstances, personalities, and effects can be examined.

    No matter how disastrous, disappointing or desperate the results of our (more…)

  • Memorial Day Reflection: In the Mean Time <-> Until Now

    This is the day when we Americans remember that we enjoy peace at home, not because we have eschewed violence, but because we have been willing to stand up to those who would use violence against us and our children.

    This is the day that we remember that protecting most of our children has resulted in the loss of many of our children.

    While world peace is a goal worthy of sincere and dedicated efforts, in the mean time there will be those who hate, those who insist on wielding power at any cost, and those who are too proud, too narrow, too scared, or with too much at stake to put down the sword.

    All of human history until now has been, “in the mean time.”

    We will not close our eyes to this tragic reality, however tempting it might be to believe that we could merely will it away if only we opposed war or the military or governments or defense contractors loudly enough.

    All of human history… until now.

    Yes, we must strive for different, more peaceful, more accepting, more collaborative, more respectful, and more creative ways to share the planet. In the mean time, though, we will not under any circumstance allow anyone to harm our children.

    Thank you to our service men and women whose task it is to stand in harm’s way so that we can work and play and love and live… in the mean time.

    – Karl Edwards

  • Quote to Consider: Getting Over It

    quote-to-consider“The best way out is always through.”

    Robert Frost

  • Thought Leaders Unpacked -> Integrity #8: What People In Touch Look Like

    thought-leadersLots to chew on in this chapter.

    Being willing to face reality and deal with the facts on the ground is an important skill. A skill I’d say I either already have or am very open to enhancing.

    BUT… Cloud then goes and makes a distinction between being someone who actively searches out what reality is, and one who faces reality passively, as it presents itself.

    Integrity, by Henry CloudTalk about a punch to the gut! Suddenly I’m not so sure. Being open to face the facts and turning the house upside down in order to uncover the facts are two very different stances. I don’t think I can lay claim to the second. That hurts. Give me a second to nurse my bruised ego.

    Ok, let’s keep going. I find Cloud’s question helpful, “Do I consider reality my friend?” If I don’t… if reality can harm me, diminish me, or discourage me, I am much less motivated to seek it out. If reality is my friend, however painful, I don’t have to protect myself from it. Instead of seeking out reality requiring heroic amounts of courage, it becomes intrinsically trustworthy and continuously welcome.

    Insightful here is the built-in protection being a seeker of reality provides against blindness. The horrible thing about blindness is when we don’t know that we’re blind. Horrible in the personal sense that I find the possibility terrifying. Few things frighten me more than not being aware of what I am not aware of.

    Only the passive person needs to be afraid, though. Once I become an active seeker out of reality, then I am doing everything I can to get in touch and stay in touch with the facts on the ground. The combination of the active approach and the welcoming stance means that I’m at minimal risk of simply missing out or inadvertently blocking out important information.

    Where do you find yourself on the spectrum between actively seeking and passively receiving reality? What do you think about the assertion that reality is our friend?

    Each Friday I post my reflections from one chapter of Integrity: The Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality by Henry Cloud. If you are just joining the discussion now, welcome! Catch up on the entire series here.