“Being unready and ill-equipped is what you have to expect in life. It is the universal predicament. It is your lot as a human being to lack what it takes. Circumstances are seldom right. You never have the capacities, the strength, the wisdom, the virtue you ought to have. You must always do with less than you need in a situation vastly different from what you would have chosen as appropriate for your special endowments.”
Charlton Ogburn
If only choosing one’s attitude were as simple as selecting from a restaurant menu.
“Let’s see… I think I’ll have an appetizer of peaceful contentedness, a main course of focused determination and for dessert, some joyful spontaneity.”
Yes, we choose our attitude. Theoretically, then, any attitude is available to choose any time.
But no, that choice does not take place in a vacuum. Theory goes out the window, and the choice to work with focused determination right after your boss humiliated you in front of your co-workers becomes almost impossible.
All the coaching or coaxing in the world couldn’t convince you that a constructive attitude is still on the menu. In fact, to suggest so feels insulting and insensitive.
What to do then with the choice we need to make next? The choice about going forward. How we go forward. The choice of attitude.
This is the problem with the menu analogy for accepting responsibility for one’s choices. It’s not as simple as choosing chicken instead of beef, or wine instead of beer.
As much as many leaders might prefer otherwise, human beings are not robots governed solely by their logical inputs. Human beings are multi-faceted, (more…)
“Fewer things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.”
Mark Twain
Karl Edwards
Taxes are due today. Los Angeles City business taxes. While the procrastinator in me wants to postpone the unpleasant task until April 15th when the Federal and State personal income taxes are due, such is not the reality I face.
In principle I can say that it is easier to face reality than to avoid it. I can also say that the earlier one can face any given reality, however distasteful, the better off one will be on a number of emotional and practical fronts.
In practice, though…
Let’s just say it’s easier to talk the talk than to walk the walk.
Distasteful realities are just that… distasteful. We want to complain about the unfairness of it all, the wastefulness, the extra work, the boring work, or the awful people involved. We want the situation to be other than it is. (At least I do.)
There is no other way to cut it. No way to make some tasks pleasant. No way to add sugar to the bitterness. No way to remove the sliver.
The key, I have found, is in learning to receive and accept reality, however (more…)
“to be nobody but yourself – in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else – means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.”
e. e. cummings
Karl Edwards
Some Mondays don’t seem worth getting up for.
Some Mondays hold nothing but dread for us. It could be the dread of facing a seemingly insurmountable problem. It could be the dread of enduring another day of intolerable boredom. It could be the dread of overwhelming volumes of work.
In apparent contrast to all this column stands for, a reality no amount of perspective, wisdom, or encouragement can erase is that some days simply feel impossible.
What does one do? From what source do we muster the courage to show up in spite of how we feel?
I’m not going to even pretend there is an easy answer. But I will dare to suggest a two-pronged approach.
1. Give yourself permission to feel crappy.
Instead of talking yourself out of these feelings… Instead of pushing your way through these feelings… Instead of judging these feelings as immature, pathetic, weak, or any other put-down you tend to use…
Instead of fighting the dread, acknowledge it. Affirm it. Congratulate yourself for recognizing it. Pat yourself on the back for being honest with yourself.
2. Pick one thing you will address today.
Give yourself the gift of focus. Take one thing at a time. If everything is overwhelming you, then select something.
Yes, maybe in an ideal world you would be able to sort and prioritize, multi-task and juggle. But today is not ideal. You are dreading today. So you need an (more…)
“You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.”
Barbara De Angelis
A fun gift the less organized among us should give ourselves occasionally is to “tip the desk.â€
Not only is it a lot of fun (yes, I have indulged), the combination of a clean desk and the catharsis of acting out so dramatically makes for a powerful attitude boost.
A bit impractical you figure, until, of course, you realize that your piles could not become any less organized on the floor than they are already on top of your desk.
After prudently removing breakable items like the computer, telephone, and paper-clip sculpture your son made for you, plant your feet firmly, hold your back erect, and lift the desk to that precise angle where the mountains of paper go careening onto the floor.
As you set your perfectly clean desk down and settle back into your chair, you will notice that those unseemly mounds now lie conveniently out of view.
After reacquainting yourself with its sleek, smooth surface, step around the desk, select one item from the “differently organized†piles on the floor, and return to your seat to enjoy an uncluttered, focused effort.
On your side,
– Karl Edwards
Cheryl Smith hosts a wonderful blog over at CultureSmith. If you aren’t a regular visitor start today.
Today’s post is in response to her “The Simplify Journey” column and call for contributions.
Join the conversation.